So… we wrapped up our series on manhood entitled Reverse Engineering. If you’re anything like me, you almost feel a bit relieved (…maybe I’ll be able to catch a breath for the next few weeks!), but mostly you feel empowered. Hopefully, if you’re a man, then you feel the heavy responsibility of leadership combined with the gracious offer from Jesus to give us strength, mercy, integrity, and wisdom. And if you’re a woman, then hopefully you feel uplifted by the last two months of teaching – I hope you feel honored, blessed, and ultimately freed by the clear understanding of the role a man should play in your life. Even more so, I hope that the men in your life live up to the standards set by God for leadership. If they are wearing a bracelet with a thin red line, I hope they continually earn it every day.
In all honesty, this series has felt like an eight-week-long kick in the… shins. Before January 7th, I thought I was doing a pretty solid job of being Ali’s husband. And to give myself an ounce of credit, that was partially true. I loved her, I listened to her, I honored her, and I didn’t hit her or treat her like crap (let’s face it… that is a reality for some of you reading this, right now). I thought I was doing well. But leading my home spiritually was a different story. ‘Seeking God’ was something I did alone in the mornings or with my buddy Luke on Tuesdays. I can talk about anything with Ali… but when it comes to God and the spiritual health of our marriage, I flinch. I don’t know why.
But I feel like things are beginning to change. Reverse Engineering has started something new and fresh in my life and – most importantly – in my marriage. I can’t even put words to it yet. I can’t give you any examples of drastic change in my home… I just know that the starter has been ignited. Something got the ball rolling. The best way I know to explain it is that I feel like I’m growing roots. When a plant grows, it’s only because there is a ton of unseen hard work going on beneath the surface; its roots are straining against rocky, unforgiving sediment to ensure the plant can flourish. The spreading of those roots takes consistency, determination, and lots of time. The spreading of those roots takes pain: stretching, splitting, and clawing through stubborn soil. But after time, something beautiful happens on the surface. I hope this is what is happening in my marriage. I hope I’m setting down roots. And just because it will be a long, difficult, and painful process doesn’t mean that it won’t be the most natural, beautiful, life-giving process to ever take place in my marriage.
My prayer is that all of the men at Flatirons who have felt similarly aloof in their roles as spiritual leaders can finally begin to set down some roots. And if we continue to set down these roots over the next few months and years, I wouldn’t be surprised if Flatirons begins to see some amazing things happen on the surface.
Ben.Tags: Engineering, manhood, Reverse