Locations & Times

I began to lose my vision last month.  

I don’t know who was more shocked by the results of my scan, the retina specialists or me. My old nemesis, Lyme disease, had stormed back in, which explained why I was having trouble seeing. I felt scared, but not without hope. 

I have experienced loss of sight before, not with my eyes but with my heart. I couldn’t see beyond a hopeless situation. Ever been there?

Reading Mark 10:46-52, I wonder if Bartimaeus felt similar despair as he sat begging by the busy road to Jericho. I try to imagine his thoughts.

I’m so tired, and this heat is relentless. Nothing changes. Day after day, I sit with this tattered cloak on my lap, hoping for a few coins to be tossed my way. Hoping no one kicks me or spits on me. Hoping that just one person, out of the hundreds journeying to Jerusalem for Passover, might see me. So far … no one has.

The loneliness is heavy and the heat unbearable. The smell of roses and cypress are no match for the stench of my own unwashed body. Laughter rings out around me. Vibrant life is passing by but all I know is darkness. 

I start to fold my cloak into a pillow so I can nap when I hear a loud rumbling.  A large group is moving this way.  My heart races when I hear someone say Jesus is in the crowd.

Jesus is here? The same Jesus that people say healed other blind men and caused the lame to walk? The miracle worker who has had compassion for outcasts? I must get His attention! 

“Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Someone spits at me and a chewed-up fig hits me in the face.

“Shut up, beggar!”

“Be quiet!”

The taunts and insults won’t stop me. I scream until my throat burns.

“Jesus! Son of David, have mercy on me!”  

Then it happens. He speaks and the crowd quiets. People start pulling at me.

 “Get up! He’s calling you.” 

I leap up and throw aside my cloak – my most valuable possession, my identity, and my means of surviving. People propel me forward until I hear Jesus’ voice. 

“What do you want Me to do for you?” The Son of David is no longer a rumor. He is answering my cries, speaking to me like I matter. My voice trembles as I respond.

“Rabbi, I want to see!” 

“Go your way, your faith has healed you.” 

In that instant, everything changes. I’m no longer a blind beggar stuck in darkness by the roadside. I’m standing next to the Light of the world!  

 He’s gazing at me with love. The crowd also sees me now, but it doesn’t matter. I thought having my vision restored and becoming part of the crowd was what I needed, but Jesus fulfilled something deeper – my need for Him. He begins to lead the people toward Jerusalem and I join them. I want nothing more than to follow Him for the rest of my days.

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Have you ever sat in darkness, feeling hopeless? Have you ever been lonely in the midst of crowds?  Without vision?  Clutching an identity you don’t want? I have. It once felt like Lyme disease stole everything from me, and I lost my purpose and my vision for life. I sat in darkness.

Bartimaeus shows us the way out. He tossed aside his cloak—his old and familiar identity, the thing he had relied on for survival. And at the very same moment, he stepped toward Jesus in simple faith.

Our circumstances may stay the same, yet our vision is restored when we take even the smallest step toward His voice. Jesus meets us when we throw off self and trust Him.

Jesus promises if we follow Him, we will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. (John 8:12) He didn’t make that conditional. It was true for Bartimaeus, and it is true today. 

For reflection:

• If Jesus stood before you today and asked, “What do you want Me to do for you?” what would you say? What is the deeper need beneath your request?
• What identity, label, or belief about yourself are you clutching that keeps you stuck? What could you do to loosen your grip?
• What is one area where you would like to see Jesus restore your vision? What is one small faith step you can take?

If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.