Locations & Times

Imagine sitting across from your spouse one evening after a long week. 

You’ve been working hard. Paying the bills. Taking care of the house. Running kids to practices. Showing up where you're supposed to show up.

Then your spouse looks at you and says:

"I know you're here...but I miss you."

Those words don't sting because you've stopped loving them. They sting because somewhere along the way, life slowly crowded out intimacy. The calendars stayed full. The responsibilities kept getting done. But the relationship quietly drifted into maintenance mode.

You realize what they're really saying isn't, "Do more." It's, "I miss us."

When I read Jesus' words to the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2, I can't help but hear something similar. This people of the church were impressive. They worked hard. They stood for truth. They persevered through difficult seasons. By most standards, they'd be considered a healthy, thriving church.

Yet Jesus says:

"You have abandoned the love you had at first." (Revelation 2:4 ESV)

In other words, I can almost hear Jesus saying: 

I see your faithful hands...but I miss your heart.

He isn't criticizing their effort. He's grieving the distance.

If I'm honest, there have been seasons where I know exactly what that feels like. 

Some of us grew up believing our value came from what we accomplished.

I know I did.

Part of that comes from my military background. Performance was everything. Accomplish the mission. Hit the target. Get the next promotion. Earn the next award. The problem is, if we're not careful, we can bring that same mindset into our relationship with God.

Before we know it, we begin treating our faith like another checklist. We check all the right boxes.

Read your Bible. Check.

Serve at church. Check.

Lead a group. Check.

Help people. Check.

None of those things are bad.

The danger is when those things slowly replace the relationship they were meant to grow.

Somewhere along the way, we stop enjoying Jesus and simply start working for Him.

That happened to me in ministry.

There were seasons when my calendar was full of good things. I was preparing messages, leading groups, answering questions, discipling people, and helping others grow.

From the outside, everything looked healthy.

But inside, I realized something had quietly shifted.

I was spending far more time working for Jesus than enjoying being with Him. I was talking about Him, teaching about Him, helping other people follow Him...but I missed simply being with Him.

Looking back, I don't think Jesus was asking me to do less.

I think He was inviting me back.

The answer wasn't doing less ministry. The answer was remembering why I started following Jesus in the first place.

Because Christianity was never meant to be transactional. Jesus didn't save us so we could complete a religious checklist. He saved us so we could know Him.

That's why His words to Ephesus are both challenging and hopeful.

He doesn't say, "Try harder."

He says, "Remember."

Remember what it was like when Jesus first captured your heart.

Remember when you couldn't wait to open His Word because you wanted to hear His voice.

Remember when prayer felt less like another spiritual discipline and more like a conversation with a friend.

Remember when you weren't just learning about Jesus.

You were enjoying Him.

Here's my challenge this week.

Don't spend ten minutes with Jesus because you should.

Spend ten minutes with Him because you miss Him.

Leave your phone in another room. Close the laptop. Open your Bible. Sit quietly. Listen. Talk with Him.

Not to earn anything. Not to accomplish anything.

Simply because relationships grow when people choose to be together.

The greatest danger isn't that we'll stop believing in Jesus. It's that we'll become so busy serving Him that we stop enjoying Him. Because the goal of following Jesus has never been to do more for Him.

It's to know Him more.

Sometimes the first sign we've drifted isn't that we're doing less for Jesus. It's that we no longer miss Him. So let me leave you with one simple question:

Do you miss Jesus?

If the answer is yes, spend time with Him.

If the answer is no, don't respond with shame or guilt.

Just return.

He's been waiting for you all along.

If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.