Locations & Times

Let’s talk about the highchair. 

You’ve seen one, probably cleaned spaghetti off one, maybe you’ve buckled a screaming toddler into one. The highchair is where we all start. And honestly, it’s where a lot of us get stuck. 

It’s Chair One. It’s the “Me for Me” chair. 

This is the chair where life revolves around you. Your needs, your wants, your preferences. It's the seat of hunger and tantrums, joy and chaos, giggles and messes. And when you're two years old, it makes perfect sense. You scream; someone brings you milk. You throw peas, and someone claps. You cry; someone rocks you. That’s how it’s supposed to work when you’re tiny and helpless and new to the world. 

But something happens along the way. 

We grow up…but sometimes we don’t grow out of the highchair. 

Some of us get a bigger, fancier version of it. 

And now, instead of throwing Cheerios, we throw shade. Instead of yelling “MINE,” we silently seethe when we don’t get our way. Instead of demanding attention with wails, we manipulate, withdraw, or blow up relationships. All to ensure the world still revolves around us. 

The Emotional Center of the Universe 

Chair One is the place where your emotions run the room. If you’re having a good day, so is everyone else. But if you’re frustrated, insecure, angry, or hurt, you drag the whole room down with you. Sound familiar? 

In Chair One, your emotional state becomes the weather forecast for your family, your workplace, and your friend group. One day it’s sunny. The next, thunderstorm warnings. And here’s the truth—we’ve all sat in this chair. Some of us lived in it for way too long. 

When you’re in Chair One, you’re not thinking about how your behavior impacts others. You’re too busy thinking about what you’re not getting, what they didn’t say, how they didn’t show up, how they let you down. The spotlight is locked on you—and you like it there. 

But here’s the twist. 

Chair One isn’t just where our selfishness grows. It’s also where our soul is shaped. 

Formed in the Highchair 

The highchair is where your identity starts forming. Your first ideas about love, belonging, safety, and worth—they begin here. So do your early wounds. Your first taste of loneliness. The time you felt abandoned. The moment you realized you had to be loud to be seen. All of that starts in Chair One. 

It’s the place of firsts. 

First affection. First fear. First spark of imagination. First lie. First moment of feeling like too much or not enough. 

So before we roll our eyes at “immature people stuck in Chair One,” let’s stop and have some compassion. We all carry a little version of ourselves from that chair with us. And for some of us, the wounds and wiring from the highchair are still driving the decisions we make today. 

That addiction? It didn’t start at 28. It started back in the highchair when you were desperate to feel comfort. 

That inability to trust anyone? It didn’t just show up after your last breakup. It was rooted back in Chair One, when someone you needed didn’t show up for you. 

That need to be in control of everything? It was born the first time you realized the world was unpredictable, and if you didn’t hold it together—no one would. 

Chair One forms us. For better or worse. But here’s the good news: 

You Don’t Have to Stay There 

At Flatirons, we talk a lot about grace and truth. Because Jesus is both. And both are needed to move out of Chair One. 

Grace says: “I see you. I know where you’ve come from. I know who hurt you. I know why you act the way you do. And I still love you.” 

Truth says: “But you can’t stay here.” 

That’s the heart of the Gospel. Jesus finds us in the highchair, covered in applesauce, emotionally volatile, demanding the world bend to our needs...and He loves us there. But he refuses to leave us there. 

Why? 

Because there’s more. 

There’s more than just living for yourself. More than being driven by your next emotional spike. More than the isolation that comes from always needing to be the center. 

There’s another chair. 

It’s Chair Two. It’s where you start realizing it’s not about me for me anymore. It’s about me for Him. And eventually, me for others. 

But the journey out of Chair One starts with honesty. 

What’s running your life right now? Is it your mood? Your unmet expectations? Are you still living from old wounds you’ve never let God heal? Are you the emotional thermostat for your home? 

Let me say this clearly: You’re not bad. You’re not broken beyond repair. But you are invited to grow. 

And growth starts by recognizing: “I’ve been in Chair One too long.” 

So What Now? 

Ask God to show you what He’s forming in you. 

Invite Him to heal what broke in that chair. 

And take a step—just one step—toward the next seat. The one that’s not about getting fed, but about feeding others. 

The highchair isn’t evil. It’s necessary. But it’s not your final destination. 

It’s the starting point of a bigger story. 

And Jesus is ready to write it—with you. 

If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.