Showing Up When You Don’t Feel It
The silence between us felt heavier than ever. My husband was sleeping on the couch, and I was sleeping in our bedroom. After seven years of marriage, we believed our marriage was over. We were exhausted, hurt, and tired of trying to fix a marriage that seemed beyond repair.
As I sat in the silence, a thought broke through to me: Something in me must die for something new to live.
I knew at that moment that God was calling me to surrender. Not just my marriage, but my heart, pride, need for control, and even my ideas of what my marriage should look like. The truth was, I was holding onto my expectations so tightly that I was leaving little room for God to work.
Luke 9:23 says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
I can see now how God used this verse to help me grow through my circumstances. I had to let go of my wants, expectations, and desires so God could bring healing and restoration to my marriage. I had to choose every day to fight for my marriage. Some mornings I didn’t want to show up for my marriage, and honestly, some nights I felt like giving up. It wasn’t my strength that carried us through this tough season; it was God’s strength and grace that made all the difference.
Following Jesus didn’t just mean trusting Him with my future—it meant surrendering myself to His will every day. What I thought was the end of my marriage was just the beginning. It was an invitation to stop relying on my own strength and let God do what He does best. When I chose to loosen my grip on my circumstances, God began to breathe new life into our marriage. Gradually, He started healing what was broken and rewriting our story with grace.
Maybe you’re not in a marriage crisis, but you’re going through a season that feels impossible. Your “living room moment” might look like:
- Sitting at your desk, wondering if you can face one more day at work.
- Walking into a doctor’s office for yet another appointment.
- Facing a difficult conversation with a family member who has hurt you.
- Waking up feeling like nothing will ever change.
Here’s the truth … God’s redemptive work can be experienced in our workplaces, health, finances, and friendships. When we choose to follow Jesus and come to Him with open hands, He blesses our surrender.
How do we go from just reading this truth to living it out?
Identify what needs to die. Ask God: What do I need to surrender? It might be pride, fear, control, bitterness, or unrealistic expectations. Name it. Write it down. Bring it before Him daily.
Start your day with open hands. Before you check your phone or start your to-do list, take a moment to physically open your hands and pray: “Jesus, I lay down my will and my way today. Lead me, and I will follow.” This simple act resets your heart to a posture of surrender before the day even begins.
Show up, even in small ways. Faithfulness isn’t always about big leaps. Often, it’s quiet, everyday obedience. So, send that encouraging text, go for a walk, read Scripture, and choose kindness in tough moments. Your small choices matter more than you realize.
Three years after that night in the living room, my husband and I can testify: God is faithful. He redeemed what we thought was lost. We learned from that season that when we surrender our wills to His and choose to show up every day for each other, believing and expecting that God’s will is best, we experience His abundant love and grace.
Wherever you are today, remember this: Surrender isn’t giving up, it’s entrusting it to the One who makes all things new. Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him.
If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.