The Work Shift That Changed My Life
I walked toward the plaza with my head down. I knew better than to look around. I could feel everyone’s eyes boring holes into me. I could feel their mean stares burning on my neck like the hot sun. I could hear the whispers of some and the shouts of a few, proclaiming their hatred for me and what I do. Nobody likes me in this town. “Matthew (Levi) is a sellout!” I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t like me either. I don’t like that I work for the enemy. I hate myself for taking from the poor to support the rich. I can’t make these people understand I'm just doing my job.
I nodded to the Roman soldier that was standing next to my stand. We don’t speak much. I am a Jew and he is a Roman; it’s against societal norms for us to even be working together. I'm sure he doesn’t like me either. It gets lonely sometimes to feel everyone’s judgment, but I have a job to do. I walked into my stall, opened my notepad, and prepared my counter at my station. I looked at the line of people in front of me, prepared to pay their due to Caesar or lack thereof.
I've been on my feet all morning. Between people yelling at me, throwing their money or begging me to accept a late payment, I needed a break. It’s easy to feel hatred from yards away but it's defeating when you have anger and judgment being spewed at you, right in your face. As I sat down in my booth, trying to not watch the people walk by, I saw Him. It was Jesus of Nazareth. The man, the whole town was talking about, not to me of course. He was walking in the direction of my stall but the thick crowd around Him made it hard to see Him. But, let’s be honest, he wouldn't be looking my way, anyway. No one wanted to look at the tax collector.
Then, through the crowd, I saw Jesus look at me.
I froze, I couldn’t believe someone was looking my way, on purpose. It had to be a mistake, maybe there’s someone behind me.
He turned towards me and started walking to my stall.
I couldn’t move. My mind raced with so many thoughts. Why is He coming to my stall? He doesn’t have an account with me, at least I don’t think so. My body wanted to double check my accounts but I couldn’t move. His presence was breath-taking. He looked like any other man I have met, but His presence was different. He was pouring out so much…..kindness. I haven't had such pleasant emotions from someone in such a long time.
Before I could get a word out to speak to Him, He said, “Follow Me.”
What?
I couldn’t believe it.
Me?
Follow THE Jesus?
He knows I am a tax collector right? Well of course He does, He is here at my stall. But, He doesn’t really know me. To be a rabbi's student, I would’ve needed to memorize the Torah as a child. Obviously, I didn’t do that. I don’t meet the requirements to follow Him. I am not qualified. He doesn’t know what I have been through. He doesn’t know how much these people, practically the whole town, hates me. Does He know that I work for the Roman Empire, taking money from these poor people?
I am not what He is looking for.
Yet, He picked me. Come to think of it, He didn’t ask me, He told me. He is telling me in front of everyone that He chooses me. To be seen and chosen by a rabbi, not any rabbi but THE Jesus. I walked out of my stall and followed Him, I never looked back.
On paper, Matthew shouldn’t be walking with Jesus. He didn’t complete his Torah requirements to even be considered a student of a rabbi. He had a horrible reputation in the community for working with Roman soldiers who hate Jews. By no standards did Matthew belong with Jesus. Yet, Jesus told him to come. Jesus didn’t look at Matthew’s standards or the community’s standards of worthiness. Jesus calls us qualified because He loves us. He sees us beyond our mistakes, our problems, or our disqualifications. The standard of man is not the standard of the Lord. If Matthew, a tax collector, could be deemed worthy to Jesus, why wouldn’t you? Do you disqualify yourself because of who you are or what you have done? Jesus looks past all of that. He knows you aren’t perfect and He doesn’t want you to be. He calls you worthy because you are His. He is calling you to follow Him. Will you answer the call?
If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.