Wisdom Wins! (In the battle for a Man’s heart)
Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23 [Amplified Bible]
“Am I doing this right, Dad? Am I doing a good job?” my son asked as he played a challenging video game. He was doing a great job conquering the game; his request for affirmation came from an honest place of wanting to know if I thought he was doing well enough. In that moment, I had a chance to encourage my son and affirm something deep within his soul.
There was a time in my parenting when I wouldn't have noticed, let alone respond to my son’s need for affirmation. In the past, I tended to rely on those around me who seemed better at engaging with kids than I was which meant that I often missed opportunities to connect with my own children in meaningful ways.
Now, as a newly single dad, I had to make a choice: pursue wisdom and choose to learn how to intentionally parent my kids well, or continue the pattern of disengagement. Thankfully. I chose wisdom and decided to sacrifice money and time to learn how to build an authentic relationship with my children. Choosing wisdom was difficult and demanding, but it was also life-changing.
Proverbs 4, a letter written from a father to a son, likely David to Solomon, provides guidance on how to lead effectively. David uses the word “wisdom” in verse 23, which in Hebrew means a practical set of skills— learned through self-denial—designed to help others live well.
According to David, wisdom’s skills are:
- Proficiency in war (efficiency in conflict resolution and protection)
- Stewardship of resources (financially responsible)
- Practical judgement in problem solving (parenting, loving spouses well)
- Self-control, both ethically and in matters of faith. (making church a priority, ensuring our private lives are in order)
David’s challenge to his son to acquire wisdom’s skills remains a challenge for all men today. Choosing wisdom requires courage, humility, self-denial, and time. Yet, the reward is that everyone within our circle will feel the life and love flowing from our hearts and be able to experience peace.
Looking back, I realized I needed to learn practical skills for intentional parenting. For you, it might mean learning how to eliminate debt, making sure you're the first person ready for church on Sunday morning, setting aside time to take your daughter on a date, or taking your son on a camping trip. Maybe it also involves holding yourself accountable by joining a group with other men to grow alongside men of faith.
I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal a practical wisdom skill He wants you to develop. It might be tough at first, like it was for me, but I promise it will be life-changing and well worth it.
If this encouraged you, check out more articles from our Flatirons Spiritual Formation Team for practical tools, encouragement, and ways to grow in your faith and leadership. Click here.