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15 Rules for Marriage

November 18, 2018 | By Jim Burgen

Jim Burgen gives his 15 Rules for Marriage based on over thirty years of marriage, doing it the wrong way, and figuring our the right way. This was created as part of our Heart Attack series. 

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What would need to change in me to give myself and my (future) spouse the greatest chance of experiencing a marriage that reflects what God originally defined as “very good”?

Communication

1. Never, ever lie (commission or omission).
2. Take responsibility for your own sins and mistake.

Sex

3. Ask for what you want or hope for, and be thankful. 
4. Don’t demand what you expect and punish when it doesn’t happen.

Children

5. Never side with your children against your spouse (in front of your children).
6. Never undermine your spouse to your kids or use kids as counselors.

Spiritual

7. If you have to play the card, “I’m the spiritual head of this house,” to try to force your wife or kids to do anything, it’s probably not true.
8. I must lead by example, rather than directives. 

Money

9. If two become one, have one bank account together.
10. Make, agree, and execute a financial plan together.
11. Tithe to your local church to ensure margin and maintain correct priorities as a safeguard to greed.

Conflict and Arguments

12. Never call each other names.
13. Never introduce the d-word (divorce) as an option, solution, or threat.
14. Stick to related data rather than jump to stories, feelings, and generalizations.
15. If it gets heated, take a time out, and then reengage.

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