Locations & Times

Marriage was never meant to be a game, but so many of us treat it like one.

What if the way you've been playing is what's actually breaking it?

This is Week One of our series More Than a Game. Marriage isn't a contract you keep when it's convenient, it's a covenant that reveals who you really are. This message asks a challenging question: What if God designed marriage less to make you happy and more to make you holy?

Whether you're single and want to prepare well, in a good marriage that needs attention before it drifts, or in a painful season wondering if it's too late, this message is for you.

In this message you'll discover:

— Why the real battle in your marriage isn't against your spouse

— How God uses marriage as a refining tool to expose and grow your character

— What it means to draw a circle around yourself and take ownership of your part

— Why finding your identity in Christ is the foundation for a healthy marriage

Jim Burgen

August 30^th, 2026

// Bible References: James 4:13-14, Ephesians 6:12, Ephesians 6:13, Malachi 2:16, Psalm 139:23-24

// Community Question: What is one thing you are looking forward to in this next season of your marriage?

// Discussion Questions

1. In the message, Jim tells us that marriage is 'less about your happiness and more about your holiness.' What do you think he means by that, and how does it change the way we might think about what marriage is supposed to do for us? Can you think of a relationship in your own life — marriage or otherwise, where a difficult moment ended up revealing something in you that needed to grow or change? What did that look like?

2. Jim described marriage as having a real spiritual enemy, and used Ephesians 6:12 to make the point that 'we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.' How does seeing marriage as a spiritual battle, rather than just two people bumping heads, change how you might respond during a conflict?

3. Jim said that 'the pressure doesn't create the cracks — it exposes them,' meaning that marriage reveals brokenness that was already inside us before we got married. How does that idea shift responsibility for problems in a relationship?

4. Is there an area of your life right now, in a relationship, a situation, or even your own heart — where you've quietly given up hope? What would it look like to take one small step of faith and stay open to what God might want to do there?

// Challenge:  Jim challenged us to stop drawing circles around our spouse and instead ask God to search our own hearts. What is one area of your marriage where God might be inviting you to look at your own heart, take responsibility for your part, and choose to fight for your marriage this week?