Locations & Times

Some things you only have to do once to wreck your marriage. 

This message names them out loud, and hands you the guardrails so you never do that.

In a culture that keeps redrawing the lines on sex, marriage, and conflict, this message goes back to what God actually said, that sexual intimacy belongs inside covenant, that temptation is universal but never an excuse, and that the words you use in a fight can wound deeper than you realize. The question underneath all of it: what do you need to stop doing today to protect the marriage and the people God gave you?

Whether your marriage feels strong right now, feels like it's hanging by a thread, or you're single and want to get this right before you ever say "I do", this one is for you.

In this message you'll discover:

— Why sexual intimacy belongs inside covenant marriage, and why that boundary protects you rather than restricts you

— How to run from temptation instead of negotiating with it, and why God always provides a way of escape

— Why Jesus goes after the heart and not just the act, and what that means for lust and pornography

— The guardrails that keep you out of the room where affairs actually start, and the "never do that" rules that keep a conflict from becoming a wound, including the forgiveness that cancels a debt they could never pay

Jim Burgen

September 13^th, 2026

// Bible References: 1 Corinthians 10:13, 1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:4, Matthew 5:27-28,

           1 Corinthians 13:1

 // Community Question: What’s something that’s harder to do in a relationship than you thought it would be?

 // Discussion Questions

1. Jim says that 'reasons are not excuses to pursue sin.' What's the difference between having a reason for doing something wrong and having an excuse for it, and why does that distinction matter in a marriage?

2. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, 'No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.' Based on this verse and the sermon, what does it mean that God always provides a 'way of escape,' and what is our responsibility when that door appears?

3. Jim shared several personal 'guardrails' — like never meeting alone with a woman who isn't Robin — that he uses to protect his marriage before temptation even has a chance to grow. Why do you think setting up boundaries ahead of time is more effective than just trying to resist temptation in the moment? What are one or two practical guardrails you could put in place in your own life or marriage to protect your most important relationships? What might make those boundaries feel difficult or inconvenient to set up?

4. Jim listed several 'never do that' rules for conflict in marriage — like no name-calling, no threatening divorce, and not getting 'historical' by bringing up past forgiven offenses. Which of these do you think is hardest to follow during a real argument, and why? Reflecting honestly on how you handle conflict, which of these 'never do that' rules do you struggle with most? What is one small change you could commit to making the next time a disagreement comes up?

// Challenge:  Jim challenged us to consider what unforgiveness may still be costing us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay or that there shouldn’t be boundaries, but it does mean choosing to stop holding someone’s debt against them. Is there someone whose past hurt you are still carrying, replaying, or using as a weapon? This week, bring that person before Jesus and ask Him to help you release the debt—not because what happened didn’t matter, but because you trust Him with what happened and want the freedom that comes from letting Him heal it.